About Me
I’m Pat Barber. I’m a husband and the father of four boys.
For most of my life, I’ve been a coach. For over 20 years, I’ve helped people build physical capacity, emotional control, and the ability to stay calm under pressure. I’ve worked with thousands of individuals, from complete beginners to elite athletes, and spent years training other coaches how to lead, communicate, and be trusted with responsibility.
But none of that prepared me for the real work.
Fatherhood.
Being responsible for four small nervous systems will show you exactly where you’re reactive, distracted, impatient, or running on fumes. It exposes every crack in your self-regulation. It doesn’t care about your knowledge. It only cares about how you show up when you’re tired, stressed, and triggered.
The Fathers Guild exists because I needed it myself.
I started this work after realizing that most fathers don’t need more motivation or information. They need stability. They need tools to regulate their nervous system, lead without volatility, and build a body and mind that can actually carry the weight of family life.
My background is in physical training and leadership development, but what I coach now is capacity:
The ability to stay present instead of dissociating.
The ability to respond instead of react.
The ability to hold stress without leaking it onto your kids or partner.
The ability to be strong and emotionally safe at the same time.
This is not therapy.
This is not “be more positive.”
This is not motivational content.
This is practical training for men who take fatherhood seriously and want to become someone their family can rely on when life gets heavy.
The core idea behind all of this is simple:
Become harder to kill and easier to love.
That’s what I work on. With myself first. Then with other fathers who are ready to do the same.
Testimonials For Pat
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Dr. kelly starrett Performance coach/ physio Co-founder of the ready state, 3x NYT Best Selling Author 2nd best dancer to Pat.
If you asked Chat GPT to write you a description of a Coach's Coach, it would just return a picture of Pat Barber. I've worked with Pat for over 15 years and never cease to be amazed by his technical abilities, but more importantly his compassion and empathy. It is rare to meet a unicorn of human that is this capable on either side of the performance spectrum. If you are an Olympic athlete, Pat is your coach. If you are just getting into fitness for the first time, Pat is still your coach. Just do yourself a favor, don't challenge him to a dance off, you will always lose.
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Adee Zukier Cazayoux - Mom,Maker, Founder of W.A.G.
Knowing Pat has profoundly shaped the way I parent. Him and Taz have become role model parents for my husband and I - showing me, through his example, how to be creative, present, and truly engaged as a parent. He helped me step back from my instinct to hover, and in doing so, empowered my kids to grow into confident, physically capable little humans. He's continually inspired me to see how much more our children can do and be when we trust and challenge them. Because of him, my relationship with my family is deeper, richer, and infinitely more fun.
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Sean Pastuch - Founder of Active Life
Pat has an incredible ability to make people feel seen. I’ve watched him work with groups of 20 and make everyone feel like they’re the only person in the room.
But more importantly, he’s influenced the way I parent my kids more than anyone else I know.Spending time with Pat changed how I think about trust, growth, and giving my kids space to learn. Watching him with his own kids made me rethink how I show up for mine, and I came home wanting to be a better dad.
Pat meets people exactly where they are. He knows how to listen, how to challenge you, and how to make you feel supported. He’s had a bigger influence on how I coach and how I parent than anyone else.
If you want someone who truly knows how to listen and guide you, spend time with Pat
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Miranda Alcaraz - entrepreneur, former competitive athlete, and the founder of Street Parking
It's hard to match the passion that Pat had for both knowledge and helping people find their best selves. He has an energy that is infectious, with an ability to take complicated topics or movements and bring them down to street level. He is truly a coach of coaches,
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Adrian Conway - five-time CrossFit Games athlete, owner of TTRU Fitness
"Pat Barber is one of the most genuine men I know. He has achieved much in the fitness space, yet he strives to be more in all the roles I've ever seen him serve in. His authenticity is exactly why Pat is an excellent leader and coach. He has a presence that is commanding yet welcoming which is used to create change and conviction to any person, athlete or coach, he communicates with. He is 1 of 1, an OG in my eyes and continues to wear the CrossFit methodology on his heart in a way that inspires me to this day."
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Eric O'Connor - CFl4,Content Developer and Seminar Staff Flowmaster
Very few people have the vast experience in all coaching related endeavors as Pat and I truly believe that he is one of the best coaches in the business. I have had a few opportunities to watch Pat in action on the coaching floor and the quality of his delivery has stuck with me for years. Beyond getting to learn from watching Pat in action, I have been fortunate to have him as a resource for increasing my knowledge and development. He is someone that I look forward to asking questions, knowing that we are going to have a good discussion and he's going to have some thoughtful and helpful responses. Pat pays attention to detail and provides honest and practical feedback to those around him to help further their development.
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Joe Lenz - Father, Husband, Podcaster
Pat has a way of questioning and challenging you that makes you think outside the box. His knowledge and perspective are rare in the coaching space. His approach to being a dad and to personal growth has had a huge impact on my life. He’s honest, vulnerable, and genuinely wants the best for anyone willing to reach out for help. The Father’s Guild has been a lifeline for me. Pat’s honest, real approach to being a better dad has had a massive positive impact on my life. He challenges you to think differently and shows up with genuine care.
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Jason Ackerman - CFL4, Entrepreneur, Author
Pat is the epitome of professionalism, leadership, and authenticity. As a coach, he possesses an extraordinary ability to connect with individuals, inspire growth, and deliver impactful education. His deep well of knowledge, combined with an approachable and humble demeanor, makes him one of the most effective and sought-after educators in the space. He operates with high integrity, leads with empathy, and never hesitates to go the extra mile to elevate those around him.
The Fathers Guild exists for men who understand something important:
Fatherhood isn’t something you survive.
It’s something you train for, and trian through.
Most men are doing their best. They love their families. They work hard. And yet, many feel stretched thin, reactive, distracted, or quietly unsure if they’re showing up the way they know they could.
The Fathers Guild exists to change that.
This is a modern guild for fathers and aspiring fathers who want to mature in the areas of life that matter most: health, emotional capacity, presence, relationships, purpose, and leadership at home.
We believe fatherhood is the highest-leverage form of self-development there is.
When a man becomes stronger, steadier, and more self-aware, his entire family feels it. His kids feel it. His partner feels it. The home changes.
Our work is built on a simple idea:
Become harder to kill—and easier to love.
That means training the body to carry stress instead of collapsing under it. Training the mind to stay clear when things get uncomfortable. Developing emotional control so reactions don’t set the tone of the household. And cultivating presence, so the moments that matter don’t pass unnoticed.
The Fathers Guild blends physical training, honest reflection, practical tools, and real conversation—through writing, mentorship, community, gatherings, and off-grid experiences designed to remove distraction and reconnect men to what matters most.
This is not a place for spectators.
It’s for men willing to take responsibility for the tone of their homes, the example they set, and the legacy they’re building—whether they’re fully aware of it yet or not.
You don’t need to be perfect to be here.
You just need to be willing to mature.
Welcome to The Fathers Guild.
I believe being a great father starts with becoming a grounded man. one who can take responsibility, handle pressure, and lead with both strength and heart.
That’s why everything I do IN TFG fits into two buckets:
Harder to Kill: Building resilience, capability, and grit.
Easier to Love: Deepening presence, emotional clarity, and connection.
more than just a tagline, for ME It covers the full spectrum of what fatherhood is. the outer work and the inner work. the strength to carry weight and the softness to connect.
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Strength. Grit. Capability.
This is about developing a body and mindset that can handle what life throws at you. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. Not about becoming “bulletproof”, but about being being capable. For your family, for yourself, and for the long haul.
What’s inside:
Training plans that prioritize real-world strength and longevity
Nutrition guidance built around energy, flexibility, and sustainability
Resources for mental focus, personal discipline, and ownership
You don’t need to be an athlete. You just need to be the kind of man your family can lean on when life gets heavy.
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Presence. Connection. Emotional Strength.
This is the other half of the work. Learning how to show up with clarity, compassion, and consistency. This is the emotional reps it takes to be present in your relationships, not just physically, but with your full attention and heart.
What’s inside:
Weekly journal prompts to help you process, reflect, and grow
Self-leadership tools that build emotional awareness and response control
Practices for patience, partnership, and parenting with intention
Resources on communication, trust and presence.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. Hey, we don’t either. You just have to care enough to keep trying.
these are the basics of what I cover, hit the button below to join THE NEWSLETTER today.