Why Your Fuse Feels So Short (And What to Do About It)

Fathers,

When I’m healthy, my fuse is long.

I’m patient. I respond thoughtfully.
I parent with intention, not just instinct.

But when I’m not healthy?

That fuse gets real short, real fast.
And suddenly, I go from calm and present to snapping at the littlest thing.

Sound familiar?

Instead of spiraling or blaming myself, I’ve started asking a better question:

Why is my fuse so short right now?
What’s underneath it?

And usually—it comes back to five core needs I try to check in on.

My Personal Fuse Checklist

1. Am I moving enough?
   Not just “did I go to the gym”—but do I feel strong? Energized? Non-sloth-like?

2. Am I eating and drinking well?
   Have I been fueling myself like a grown-ass man or like a raccoon loose in the pantry?

3. Am I sleeping enough?
   Not “did I get 4 hours and call it good.”
   Actually rested.

4. Am I connected with my wife?
   Is intimacy both emotional and physical, present? Are we good? Am I making space for that relationship?

5. Am I giving myself mental space?
   Journaling, reflecting, even just a walk in silence—am I allowing myself to feel?

If one of those is out of whack, I can usually feel it.
If more than one is off? Yeah… danger zone.

The good news?

Once I spot it, I can course-correct.
Put a little extra focus where it’s needed.

And sure enough, the fuse gets longer again.

And suddenly, I’m not just reacting—
I’m showing up.

Like the dad I want to be.

– Pat
The Fathers Guild
“Harder to kill. Easier to love.”